My mind is numb and I still wonder..........why?
Monday, May 21, 2012
Why?
I know there's a certain number of people that think we develop a tough shell that protects us when we lose a battle to save one of our animals. Instead of it getting easier, it just hits me harder when I lose one, because I keep thinking there's one more thing I could have done or maybe I could have done this instead of that. I woke up this morning to a yearling ewe that had given birth, a very unplanned pregnancy, as she was never in with a ram. I'm going to assume they bred through the fence, or that the ram jumped over a 48" panel and then jumped back in...(unlikely). We found this little ewe laying in the lot, with the mom by her, she was licked off, but cold and very near death. I got out the towels and heating pad, finally she was warm. I ran to the shed and milked the mom and got some colostrum, got about 11 ml of that down her and some Nutri Drench and she was doing pretty good........then she started to have a seizure. I picked her up and made a flying trip to the vet, 107 temp and low blood sugar. We got her temp down and her glucose levels up, and then we wait. I sat with her all morning into the afternoon, and at 2:03 pm she finally couldn't fight any more. I only knew this little girl for 7 1/2 hrs, but I am devastated. So much for the notion that you get used to this sort of thing...........the heart still breaks, and I'm a giant baby that needs to toughen up.
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Mike and I
Mike and I at Nick and Emily's wedding
Raised beds & chickens coops
Can't wait for this stuff to actually be food....
The answer to why is the sin problem that Adam and Eve got us into in the first place; can you imagine how they felt the first time they had to KILL a lamb as a sin sacrifice? And we've had to suffer the sorrow ever since....
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, friend. One day death will be no more.
Thank you Michelle...it's always nice to be reminded of the comfort that can be found with our faith.
DeleteDeath is part of this world, we humans can't know why one is spared and another is not. But we can be sure that the Lord weeps right along with us. Life is really all about loving and caring. Kelly your tears are proof that you are on the right track.
ReplyDeleteThank you....Life is about loving and caring and I would have it no other way. Your comments touched me deeply.
DeleteSpot on, Michelle. It's good to read sound doctrine in unexpected places. Thank you! I'm sorry for your loss, Kelly. It never does (nor should) get easier. Keep your chin up. Xo
ReplyDeleteKind words and caring people are salve that soothes wounds. Thank you for taking the time, I don't take that for granted.
DeleteSorry about the little lamb Kelly. It doesn't get easier, and really I'm not sure I want it to. I lost a little newborn lamb this year too--first time and he was so healthy and lovely and perfect. I can only assume that 'something' happened in the very normal short delivery that crimped the cord and he inhaled fluid. Like you I tried everything..then we cry and go on, I guess. I loved what someone else had written on their blog about a little lost goat kid.."sometimes a day is a life time".
ReplyDeleteTammy
Tammy, thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss as well. And I do love your borrowed quote. None of this stops us from doing what we love.....because there's always more joy than sorrow with the critters we love.
DeleteKelly, I would be worried about you had you NOT cried! To lose a precious life, so new, so innocent is heartbreaking ~ no matter what the species.
ReplyDeleteI second what Becky said.
(((Hugs)))
Ah Nancy, thank you for the hug. That first sentence really struck a cord in me......you are right, there would be something amiss is I hadn't felt the pain of that little lamb passing. Caring deeply for our charges is a good thing!!!
Deletekelly first of all thank yo for your kind comment about the passing of my nugget. here you were devasted with your own loss, giving me kind words. you are an angel. i am so sorry about your loss of this precious baby. i cannot imagine the pain and the frustration you must feel. one time i came upon a man standing beside a newborn calf. i climbed over the fence to help to find out that the calf could not drink. i ran to the farm store to buy colostrum. i tried to feed it not knowing what i was doing etc. i stayed with the baby for a couple of hours petting it and trying to comfort it to no avail and i cried and cried. you did everything possible for the baby. you are a good person and the sheep are lucky to have you as a keeper. :)
Deletekelly i wrote a long response and stupid blogger erased it...sigh. please know that i am thinking of you and i want to thank you for your kind words on my blog. i will be thinking of you...
Deleteto Kritter Keeper:
DeleteI got your long message, and it is appreciated beyond words. Thank you, you get why that broke my heart and why I felt compelled to reach out to you during your sorrow. I think we are both very lucky people indeed, as are the animals that we love. God Bless.
Not only are you are great person, with a loving heart, but you give everything to your sheep. They are lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Erica, that is very kind of you to say. We all do what we can to make the life of our animals a good life. Sometimes we can make miracles happen and sometimes we have to concede our battles.
Delete