Today my heart is heavy. I shipped 2 wethers (texel/shetland x) to the processor as well as 2 rams that just didn't have what it took for breeding. I retained one very nice black ram, and even though I told myself that I didn't need a 3rd ram going into winter, he was just too promising to send off just yet. Black as coal, soft, silky and luster like crazy, perfect little tail, nice and square, but not a lot of size yet, so I'm going to wait.
As much as I know what happens to rams that don't make the cut, it hurts me to have to send them to be processed. My emotions are right on the surface today due to some return of my insomnia and chronic pain, so the early morning round up was especially heart wrenching for me today. Then, just as I thought I couldn't feel any more guilty, the 2 wethers walked in the shed, followed me across to the door and walked right on the trailer. My first thought was, maybe I'm not cut out for this stuff.
I'm pretty proud of the fact that I found homes for all the breeding quality rams with the exception of the one that I kept, and I keep reminding myself that we kept one Texel ewe to cross with the Shetlands for meat lambs, but today I'm struggling.
Maybe a good nights sleep will restore me and ease my hurt.........
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Mike and I
Mike and I at Nick and Emily's wedding
Raised beds & chickens coops
Can't wait for this stuff to actually be food....
I sure do hope you feel better soon. It is so hard to handle even the simplest problems when you are sleep deprived.
ReplyDeleteI've only shipped one, but know exactly how you feel - awful. Thinking hugs your way....
ReplyDeleteNothing I can say will make you feel any better. Been there ~ felt that. Don't like to remember it.
ReplyDeleteIt's a horrible part of raising "livestock".
But then there's sitting with the ewes...
;-)
Thank you ladies, for the kind words and cyber hugs.........I am feeling better, got a few hours sleep and had a good cry, that will fix a lot of stuff. And, thanks to Nancy.."sitting with the ewes" made me smile too.
ReplyDeleteShetland folks are some of the best!
I'm glad you're feeling better now Kelly. I always feel just terrible when that time comes too. Fortunately once it's over, it's over and we can enjoy the gifts they have given us. I try to give them the best life possible and then honor their contribution to our farm.
ReplyDeleteWe have had to do the same, Kelly....It makes us wonder if "we are cut out for this",too. I take it as a sign that when you feel this way, you are a caring and compassionate Shepherdess!
ReplyDeleteI hope you're doing better, Kelly. I know what you mean, it's just not what we expect when we decide to raise sheep. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
ReplyDeleteWhat an uplifting group! It's nice to know that I am not alone, thanks to all of you. More proof that Shetland owners are a caring bunch with good hearts.
ReplyDelete